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Title:Real Men/Women of Genius #44
Date:Friday March 12th, 2010
[Default Article Image][Thanks today is due to Toni Aurilio for the suggestion---which term you'll recognize when you see it---and to several other amazing women who have told me "things" relative to this topic. Thank you all!]

Bud Light presents...


{Real men of geeeeeene-yuss}

Today we salute you, Mr. God's-Gift to All Running Women.

{Mis-ter "Just-doooo-what-I-tellllll-you-to-dooooo and you'lllll be fine!"}

Who knew that women could all improve their speed, endurance, stride-length, VO2-max, race times, personal records, recovery time, and possibly everything else in their lives---including love, family, relationships, even menstrual cycles and childbirth---just by listening to YOU?

{"Whennnn I was yourrrrrrrr age, I could cycle-ev-ry-se-ven-weeks in-stead!"}

Surely, a running guru like you could only possibly become a vision of enlightenment just once in their lives, so they better be grateful, and take good notes. Because, after all---and after you always TELL them all, too---you, their hero, have already "been there, done that."

{"I kneeeew howwwwwwwwwww to pace my-self!"}

And you have proof! Home movies! Before your glomming-on group of worshipful sweeties can even begin worrying about their next ultra-long race, you invite them all over to your house, to watch "how you did it," and of course to take even better notes. In your wisdom, you know that watching *you* will be best for *them*.

{"Let me stop here and reee-play the film, so yoooou can see thissss bet-ter!"}

Never mind, of course, that all *that* took place in the late '70s or early '80s---before, according to some, trail running was even invented. What you now bequeath to your sometimes-snickering feminine fan club are lessons that only *your* one-and-only sterling performance on pavement at some local 10K race, since ignominiously renamed in your honor, could possibly teach young women about how to run a hundred miles in the forest.

{"Never-mind-watch-ing that me-tal watch and those tube socks!"}

So crack open an ice-cold Bud Light, Oh Mahatmas Gandhi, THE Running Guru of Hard-won Experience, and serve the rest of those cases in your fridge to your eager houseguests, because, really, *you* are an amazement to them all. None of your students have ever in their lives witnessed such "douchebaggery" as this.

{Mis-ter God's-Gift to Alllllllllllll Runnnnn-ning Wo-men!}

Bud Light beer: we don't care where it's made; we just dig their commercials.

( O_O )

Yours troubly,

Rich Limacher

Yankee Folly of the Day:
Here, for all those who DON'T want to watch my old home movies, you could still read evidence that I did run last Saturday:
(and there's also something you may have seen before at the bottom of that list). Have a nice Friday!
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Posted:July 31st, 2010 7:12 pm
Last View:June 19th, 2021 12:54 am
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