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Title:Real Men/Women of Genius #112
Date:Friday November 25th, 2011
[Default Article Image][Today we give thanks--tanks?--to Stu "Stu-man-Fu" Gibeau, who suggested today's RM/WoG topic some weeks ago, when I was either weak from eye surgery or recovering from the weak before. In any event, Stu has considerably suffered himself--due to the unfairness of illness which has plagued his niece in the UK--so this is my little effort to help cheer him up. Besides, it's his birthday!]

Ingelhook Wineries present...


{Re-al gals of geeeeeene-yuss!}

Today we lift our goblets to you, Miss LOUD Ultra-Event Bystander Who Has Only One Cheer In Her Repertoire.

{"IIII LOOOOOOOOVE YOOOOU-and-do-you-want-a-date?"}

"You're looking good!"? Or "It's all downhill from here!"? Or "You're almost there!"? Or again: "You're looking good!"? Or "It's all downhill from here!"? Or "You're almost there!"? And yet again: "You're looking good!"? Or "It's all downhill from here!"? Or "You're almost there!"?

{But yoooou have nooooooooooo i-de-a-where-you-e-ven ARE!}

We realize it might possibly kill you to expand your vocabulary, but--by the 85th time we've heard the exact same chant--we are also thinking we're asking too much.

{Itttttttttttttttttt's a good thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing you-don't-have-to-spell-out what you're shou-tiiiiiiiiing-out!}

During the out-and-back section? Please. We get to hear "You're almost there" at mile 4 and again at mile 7; and again at mile 16 on loop 2 and once more at mile 19 on loop 2; and yet AGAIN your exact same cheer is repeated at the exact same positions during loops 3 and 4 as well.

{"I just KNOOOOOOOOOOOW the runnn-nnners all apppp-preeeeee-ci-ate meeeeeee!"}

During a 50-mile race we not only get to hear "You're looking good" EIGHT TIMES for ourselves, but 8 times for all the peeps through twenty-five places ahead of us AND at least for ALL those equally behind. This ultimately amounts to several thousands of cheers at full voice without any need whatsoever for, say, a PA system or even a megaphone, and all without changing your tune one single teensy iota.

{"You'rrrrrrrrrrre not hav-ing trou-ble hearrrrrrrrrrr-ring me, are youuuuuuuu?"}

So pop out that cork quickly from your warm--by now--full bottle of White Zinfandel, O Fully-Clothed Dallas Cowgirl Cheerleader, and take as many swigs as your sore parched throat might require, because one of these loops you're going to holler that same message to a really ugly guy, who then hollers back that it's UPHILL all the way, he is NOT almost there because he's a full loop behind, and he WILL be pulled from the race at the very next aid station.

{Missssssss LOUDDDDDDD Ul-tra-E-vent By-stan-der Whoooooo-Has-On-ly-One-Cheer-In-Herrrrrrrrr Re-per-toire!}

White Zinfandel yuppie wine: we don't drink it ourselves; we'd rather guzzle beer.

( O_O )

Yours troubly,
The Troubadour

Check out this new outlet:


Yankee Folly of The Day:
We're not used to cheerleaders here in Chicagoland anyway, so when we watch Dallas Cowboys plowing into them on the sidelines during Thanksgiving dinner, we give even *more* thanks--that their skimpy outfits remain unruffled, their makeup unsmeared, and they themselves are not hurt.
Posted:November 25th, 2011 2:42 pm
Last Update:December 9th, 2011 11:00 am
Last View:June 16th, 2021 1:22 pm
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